Once Upon a time....

A long time ago, a li'l gal heard a song. And loved it so much that she couldnt stop herself from humming it. For that matter nobody ever could. Infact thios li'l gal grew up to be somebody who hummed to herself even during the boards, much to the chagrin of one ms.'s'omebody.
Then she found out that there was even this tape of this song at home. She managed to wear down the tape!
Then many many years later, she saw the movie and she liked it lots! It had no stars.. Only Shabana Azmi, Naseeruddin, Jugal Hansraj and Urmila Matondkar.
Then finally she read the book day before yesterday...

Well I finally read Man, Woman and Child and thts just the reason for verbal diarrhoea. Why use fewer words when you can use more seems to be my fundaa!!

Its close to eleven, everybody else from my project team has left, lots of work to do but no inclination and the " " night cab aint here!!!

This and That

Saw bits and piences of Courage Under Fire. What a movie! And Matt Damon is my latest crush! I might even see the Bourne movies just for him!! ;)



One of my colleagues says abt another "What a pathetic sense of dressing!!" I nod my head in unison. She wears supposed-to-be formal skirts and they look bad on her. Add a schoolish bag on her shoulders and a Kush Kush Hota Hai Kajol hear band and you have "the" recipe for a fashion disaster. My dear colleague continues, "She used to wear Kurthas and salwar kameez.. I used to think she was married with atleast two kids".
I near choke on my cornflakes...
Afterall I come from a place where skirts are Paavadais. Short skirts are worn by people who have no money to buy new ones after they have overgrown their old ones. Or they might be hand-me-downs from a niece! And wear trousers, you are a guy ( my very own experience!)!!
I need a makeover. I need to revamp my wardrobe.


I just realised I dont get on very well with Punjabis! There is just been one Punjabi, though . This is the guy I am replacing in the project. But then no wonder; he is not pushy, he is not aggressive, no bawdy jokes.



I'll soon be moving to Mumbai onsite. Yea, the project I am working on has the onsite implementation in Mumbai.

Why Cant.........

Its a Friday evening. Everybody around me is just so very euphoric. The weekend is about to dawn. And I am in tears.
Tomorrow is Vinayaka Chathurthi and is aholiday, notwithstanding the fact it is already a weekend. And I have to yet again cancel my plans to go home. 'Cos my dear PM has already made plans for my weekend!!
Thanks to him, I'll have to spend a Saturday at home, crying myself to sleep 'cos there's Puja at home and he cant work! And thanks to him I'll be working on a Sunday on a project that was supposed to go live this April. I am sure a weekend is in no way gonna matter! But then it does, to him atleast!!
I hate people who have supposedly seen the world, have more grey hairs than me and act in a stupidly childish manner!! My PM made my last week plans too. So I went and cancelled my tickets some two hours before departure, lost money in the process and took back my luggage home.And spent the next days at home, 'cos the server was down.
And this week, it is just the same!! He'll have his puja. I'll have my work!
And by the way, he has already left office for the day!!
Why did my parents have to do such a good job of bringing me up? Why cant I plain just tell him I cant work this way and it aint fair? Why cant I tell him its just not fair that he makes my weekend plans for me and doesnt even bother telling about them? Why cant he understand that while his family is very much in Bangalore, I live some 12 hours away from mine! Why cant he understand that I need two whole days off, during the weekend? And that I need two whole days to spend some measly thirty hours with them? Why cant the world be justly fair with me?

Why?

Why must I always be so very sarcastically rude and caustically acerbic? Why am I not nice to people who are nice? Why must Saturn reside on my tongue?

Putting the record straight!!

One of my friends asked my yesterday as to why I hadnt been blogging in quite a while! Now while it is indeed a matter of honour for any author/blogger to hear these words from her readers; Sriram - I take offence at the "nothing to crib about, is it" statement!
few readers of mine seem to think this blog is my outlet for all my life's frustrations. Few others seem to think I blog to publicise my clumsiness. This is where I set the record straight. I am neither a frustrated Yem Bee Yae nor is this blog an e-account of how I make people laugh in real life.
It takes more than just plain guts to write about how you managed to make a fool of yourself! And not embelish the story to make you look smarter, even though it is very tempting to do so!
And with regard to all my "funny" antics, what can I say? As Bertram Wilberforce Wooster puts it, it is difficult to make people laugh when you are recounting a joke. But they always manage to find something funny at your expense, when you dont find it a list bit funny!!

Wannabe Writer!

I want to be a writer. If not anything else this blog has made a couple of laughs possible!
Call it the P.G.Wodehouse' effect on me (I read lots of them these days. And while I am laughing to my hearts content, all by myself and P.G.Wodehouse; folks around me try to call up NIMH!)
I reason I am better off than P.G. in one very important aspect. After all he had to create this fictional Bertie, while I can write about myself!

Dear Career Counsellor

Dear Career Counsellor,
I am an MBA with an electrical engineering degree, working in a software firm. My designation reads Associate consultant and I was hired to give "functional inputs".
My work revolves around excel sheets. I am very happy to inform you that within two and a half months of employment I have received extensive practice on the following keyboard shortcuts : Control+C, Control+V,Control+F. I also now know how to use the function VLOOKUP. Being the fast learner I am, I can assure you Madam that I ll learn more very soon.
I like the organisation I work for too. I can have all the ginger,cardomom, masala and lemon tea I want for free. I can have coffee too, if I want. But I dont like it. Sometimes I take milk. There is even a microwave in the pantry. So I am very happy with my organisation.
However my "natural" skills lie elsewhere. You see I can crib pretty well. I can crib all day long and all night long. I am good at cutting pasting too, but I am the best when it comes to cribbing. That I can say with confidence. I can crib even about not having anything to crib about. So much that my best friend jokes about me being a professional cribber. I know livelihood is no joke. But this gave me an inspiration.
There are so many many depressed people out there who think nothing can ever ever happen right with them and who are always so very down in the dumps. I got this brain wave of offering my cribbing services to them. I am sure I can make them feel that there is atleast one person who is worse off than them. This "I am better off than her" positive thought will motivate them to do better. This way I can earn my livelihood and also give something back to the society.
Please advice me on this.
Yours Truly,
Alltime Cribber

Monday Morning Blues!!

Monday Morning Blues. The title says it all!!
Its been some two hours since I reached office and I havent managed to get any work done!!
All that I have done is social loafing; jump from one work station to another, make small talk on wht people did in the weekend, wht they bought, where they went window shopping, whats fashionable and whts not! And I am getting good at stuff like this! And dont know how this realisation makes me feel about myself!Okay, atleast something about me is consistent, this vague all muddled up kinda feeling sometimes (read all times) that I have about myself.
I cant work!I cant look into excel sheets and pretend to myself I am loving it! I cant think of the not so handsome pay check I take back home every month and tell myself "Think you are studying Chemistry righyt now. You will soon be rewarded for your patience with library sessions ( weekends; where in I can borrow books from the library close home and read to my heart's content)!". I realise nothings mcuh really changed about me. Its back to the engineering days- When I used to run to the bus stop 'cos I was getting late. Chase my bus in an auto. Pray for rain or the chairman to have a mild heart attack so that we could have a holiday. Get into the bus and either chat with Vasu, sleep or read something. Get to college and keep waiting for tea and lunch breaks with lots of day dreaming and prayers in between. I am pretty much the same! So much for the MBA. But no use blaming my degree.
I guess there is a part of me (and a very big part at that) that just doesnt want to grow up! And I am happy its that way!

Be Safe, Dont Exist!

Don’t go out alone at night — That encourages men
Don’t go out alone at any time — Any situation encourages some men
Don’t stay at home — Intruders and relatives can both rape
Don’t go without clothes — That encourages men
Don’t go with clothes — Any clothes encourage some men
Avoid childhood — Some rapists are turned on by little girls
Avoid old age — Some rapists prefer aged women
Don’t have a father, grandfather, uncle or brother — These are the relatives that often rape young women
Don’t have neighbours — They often rape
Don’t marry — Rape is legal within marriage
To be quite sure — DON’T EXIST!

(Rules for girls, poster by K.P.Sasi)

Why always Me?

Its two thirty. Post lunch I can hardly keep my eyes open. There is a whole lot of activity going on around me - a project is going live soon and deadlines have to be met. I have no such worries. I close my eyes and shake my hips to Shakira's Whenever Wherever; imaginarily ofcourse. Life can be so very good to you at times.
And that is when I see my project manager walking towards me. I immediately minimise the media player, take of my headphones and place them on the table. He is here to introduce me to two other "gentlemen" (his very words) of our team. And that is when I realise the song is still playing and is audible!
Oh Oh! I yank off the headphones from the system even while giving the three gentlemen what I think is a "polite" smile. And horror of horrors the whole floor can now hear Shakira.
Now why does this always have to happen with ME!! While I wouldnt trade my life for all the gold and books in the world, why cant somebody else get lucky for a change? Why always ME??
On second thoughts I ought to rename this blog as Goofball Princess' diaries.

My 25th Post!

I cant access blogspot anymore! Sigh!
All social networking and personal websites are blocked. Funny! If these blokes think this will make me more productive, they are wrong! All that this means is, I am gonna spend more time more time on the internet bay on the ground floor than at my desk on the first floor.
By the way this happens to be my 25th post!

Desperate for Work!

I finished my training last wednesday and have ben jobless since then. To drive away boredom I attended a training program to which I was not even nominated (!), checked mails umpteen number of times, blogged a bit and read blogs. Now I am desperate! I am so insecure! What if Iflex decides to downsize? I would be the first one to be sent out!
And whats worse is the fact that I "work" at the the Whitefield office. I use the office transportation - I have to necessarily be in the office from nine to six! Tough Luck!!

A Case of Feigned Travel Sickness, Mistaken Identity, Spoilsport Rain and Chennai autowaalaas

This weekend I made my almost weekly pilgrimage to Chennai. I started late from office : there was this Open house going on and I missed out on the nice stuff where the new jonees were introduced; it started raining the minute I stepped out of office and had to take an auto; reach home,exercise my thumb over the remote while scanning the days' newspaper only to realise that it is seven thirty and I am late - my bus is at nine fifteen! I hurriedly stuff my clothes and get out. I am late and cant make it to Majestic by bus. So get into an auto. The auto ride is relatively uneventful though I cant stop cursing myself for not having kept track of time.
I reach KSRTC bus terminus, ask people directions to platform 24 only to realise I am standing right there. And my bus is late. My bus finally comes at ten and is empty : nobody boarded it at Mysore!! I get into the bus and park myself on the window seat of the last row (my actual seat is the one next to it). Next comes a girl who requests me to move so that she can sit by the window. As if I am gonna do that!
Anyways we start talking and I get to know the windows seat aint her's. Now this is my first bus journey where in I am not asleep as soon as I get into the bus. Usually I am asleep even before the bus moves out of the bus terminus. And this time I realise the bus comes to Forum! Now Forum is a fifteen minute walk away from my house and it talks the minimum fare on an auto! But yours truly never knew about the bus stopping at Forum even though she had made this trip five times over the last 7 weeks! The guy who has the window seat gets in here and he puts forward his claim over the window seat. I tell him I have travel sickness (!!) and have to have the window seat!! And give him the "You can have your window seat, at your own risk" look. Poor guy, he cant say anything now and moves away.
The next day morning it is the Koyembedu bus stand in Chennai. I get of the bus, dodge all the auto wallahs and walk to the city bus stand inside the terminus. I dont have to wait for long and I get into the bus. I even compete with an old woman for a aisle seat (I have luggage!). And she says "Ladies' Seat. Vera engayaavdu poyi ukkaaru".
Excuse Me!!!
For those who havent seen me, believe me there s no way I can be mistaken for a guy!! And those who have, can vouch for that! That woman was either blind or was sleep walking. The lady sitting next to me smiles. The old woman moves closer, has a look and decides she was wrong. And she says " Chokka potrindiyono...." ???
I get down at SIET college and manage to stop an auto. I tell him "Surya Sweets ponum". He asks T.Nagar? I say R.A.Puram. He demands 40 bucks. The actual fare would be within the mimimum twelve ruppees. No way I am gonna shell out so much. Fifteen bucks I tell him. He laughs. Then tells me "Sangeetha varaikum ponum". Then I tell him its near Adyar Gate hotel. He says "R.A.Puram sonneenga. Ippo Adyarndu solringa." The Park Sheraton is known to auto waalaas as Adyar Gate Hotel and they refuse to recognise it by any other name. And here is one guy asking me if I had to go to Adyar. My luck! Then I tell him its near the Raintree hotel. He asks for twenty five, I say twenty and the deal is struck.And he takes me home, all the while preaching me on how I ought to use right landmarks and names and not confuse autowaalaas!
I come home, there is a new watchman who wants to make sure I am no thief. Which thief would come with a bag full of stuff? I ring the doorbell and my mom half asleep half awake grudgingly opens the door and goes back to sleep.
I look at my sister who is sleeping. There is thi contentment on her face which I decide wont be there for long. And operation "Wake up Mads aka Kumbakarni" starts. I tickle her, prod her. And after numerous pleas to Mummy, Madhu decides she ought to do something and pinches me. It is just so painful but I dont mind : Mission successful, Madhu awake. Now I can focus on mommy dearest. All that I need to do is to start talking!
After a heavy breakfast we move to Pondy Bazaar and into RMKV where a customer thinks I am the sales girl. Today is just not my day, I decide. We do lots of shopping, hog at Archana's and walk till Roshan's to look at suitcases for my darling sister. We finally decide on one hard case and one soft case, find out hard case suitcases cant be locked; make few frantic calls to parents who have sent their wards to US recently and decide on a semi hard case and soft case and buy the ASA locks. By the time we step out of the shop, its raining. We stop an auto, try to bargain, move ahead and stop another auto and so on. And each time we find that the amount demanded by the auto wala rises as we get closer to our destination. Only our Chennai autowaalaas can have such a distorted sense of logic!
But what a trip it was! I went to Adyar Grand Snacks and was served Thengai saadam on Donnai and it was lovely. Bought loads of stuff for me, dear sis and amma appa from AGS. Then "eatable" ( as Subbu puts it) food. Lotsa family gossip. Heaven!

Thoughts and Words

My thoughts and words are my own
In them I seek my salvation.

Zilch Balance

My salary account still reads zero balance!

Its Official.....

Finally the day has dawned.. The day I have been so very afraid of! Its official guys. I am bankrupt!
All that I have is seventy bucks. And I owe a colleague fifty bucks. And I would be left with twenty bucks! And am leaving for Hyderabad tonight. Thankfully the tickts are booked!! Bangalore to Hyderabad, with twenty bucks....
But still guys it might not be that bad. What if the naxalites tartget the bus I am travelling. I would have the last laugh! They might even take pity on me and share the booty with me!!
What a day it was.. I walk down to the bus stop , catch a van, travel for a few minutes; only to realise I dont have my wallet and my mobile when the ticket issuing chappie comes. I tell him I dont hv my mobile, need to get down - walk all way back home, get my stuff, trek back to the bus stop (which is ten minute walk from my house - couldnt afford an auto you see ;) and catch a BMTC bus... And am late to office.
And I walk into the training room half an hour late and all eyes are on ME!
And during the break I want to impress one of my seniors (thankfully he aint my supervisor) with my Kannada and tell him "Yenn Magaa". And he just gives me creepy look that seems to say "Are you nuts or what".
Well supposedly Yenn Magaa aint the language good girls speak in. Its Tapori Language!!!
Bhargav, Pavan , RK , Sunil... Wait till I meet you next!!!

No system Yet!

Havent yet got my work station!!And the training room is kinda cold(!). And the work seems to be more technical for the functional guys and more functional for the techie guys. I am supposedly in the implementation team. Well I have no clue as to how my product works and am prety sure theres not much thts going to get clear in the near future either. I like to joke abt me doing things the classic way, while the truth is tht I cant do it any other way. The only use I have for my computer is to play music, read online books, check mail... get the drift?
And I still reemmber Che's remark some ten years back on one of my classmates getting a system. If you are gonna use your system only to use excel sheets, MS word and so on; why dont you get urself a type writer and a calculator??
Going by those standards, I dont deserve to have a system!
Update:
I have finally been assigned a system. Now wait a minute before you guys start feeling happy for me! After spending close to two hours trying to get someone from the helpdesk configure my new system, I realise I ought to move out from here too! Now howz that?

Lost my Workstation!!

Almost one month into work and I have already lost my work station!! All this long I was sitting with the HR and Admin guys but then atleast I had a work station!! And today when I come back from my training one of the Admin females (and just why do most of the HR, Admin and group secretaries need to be females??) is already working from my work station. And while I very politely ask her if she would take long even while I am fuming with anger; after all it is my work station, I had just locked the system and there were quite a few applications running: She tells me that I am supposed to meet my group secretary. "Oh! So she is finally back is it??" is wht I want to blurt out. She has been on a very long vacation after her wedding that I used to joke about her extending it to a maternity leave. And this lady very coolly tells me that I was alloted this work station only 'cos there was no other place and anyways I am in training and I wouldnt need the system. Excuse me!! Where do I park myself when we arent in training??? And she tells me she ll try to place me elsewhere but then anyways we will be moving out to another office in another fifteen days.(btw we are moving to a new location opposite to the Sai Baba temple, Whitefield). So....
Now I am supposed to wait for another fifteen days or what??
And when I get back to my work station, that lady happily informs me "After all I only gave you this desk naa?". Lady, so you can reclaim back my desk as yours is it???

First Job!

I am back! After a long period of silence I am finally into blogging! After an anxious and a seemingly never ending wait, I have started work at Iflex- my very first job! Though I must add I am still jobless, waiting for the product training from 18th June. Employed and Jobless!!
We do group training sessions though and I have come to realise the importance of using fewer words! You can make few nervous first time employed buncha freshers sit through your verbose monologue, but would your clients sit through sessions tht drag for hours altogether?
Anyways all tht I seem to do during training is to count the number of days remaining for the Friday to dawn( when I can catch the bus/train to Chennai) and for my first salary to be credited to my account!! And ofcourse dream abt all the things tht I did do!! Another 17 days to wait before I can afford to shop!

This one's to my friends!

Now that I'll be out of SDM-IMD in another two days; 48 hours from now I did be frantically trying to remember all the things that I did be needing and put them into my bag, in time to catch my 3:45 bus to Hyderabad. And all that I'll have is one month to get used to the idea of being an SDM alumni till the convocation on March 23rd. And I ll have to get used to SDM being my past.
This is to Aparna for the words and thoughts you have given me. This is to Meenakshi for being my best critic and all that straight talk. This is for Deepan for always having been there for me.
This is for Sirisha..... for all the goofing we have done, for being my pillar of strength, for making me laugh when all I wanted to do was to cry,for making me cry when all that I wanted to do was to laugh, for crying when all that I was trying to do was to make you laugh, for trying to laugh at all my dumb supposedly jokes, for having put up with all my bitching, for keeping a straight face through all my PJ's and APJ's, for having been so very understanding of all my weirdness, for having been such a bitch(!!), for being my Valentine even when you were no longer officially single, for having rejoiced at my successes and making me look beyond my failures, for being so very honest with me......
All that I can think of is this song guys .... " I would have given the world to you, but words are all that I have".