Dear Career Counsellor

Dear Career Counsellor,
I am an MBA with an electrical engineering degree, working in a software firm. My designation reads Associate consultant and I was hired to give "functional inputs".
My work revolves around excel sheets. I am very happy to inform you that within two and a half months of employment I have received extensive practice on the following keyboard shortcuts : Control+C, Control+V,Control+F. I also now know how to use the function VLOOKUP. Being the fast learner I am, I can assure you Madam that I ll learn more very soon.
I like the organisation I work for too. I can have all the ginger,cardomom, masala and lemon tea I want for free. I can have coffee too, if I want. But I dont like it. Sometimes I take milk. There is even a microwave in the pantry. So I am very happy with my organisation.
However my "natural" skills lie elsewhere. You see I can crib pretty well. I can crib all day long and all night long. I am good at cutting pasting too, but I am the best when it comes to cribbing. That I can say with confidence. I can crib even about not having anything to crib about. So much that my best friend jokes about me being a professional cribber. I know livelihood is no joke. But this gave me an inspiration.
There are so many many depressed people out there who think nothing can ever ever happen right with them and who are always so very down in the dumps. I got this brain wave of offering my cribbing services to them. I am sure I can make them feel that there is atleast one person who is worse off than them. This "I am better off than her" positive thought will motivate them to do better. This way I can earn my livelihood and also give something back to the society.
Please advice me on this.
Yours Truly,
Alltime Cribber