A Case of Feigned Travel Sickness, Mistaken Identity, Spoilsport Rain and Chennai autowaalaas

This weekend I made my almost weekly pilgrimage to Chennai. I started late from office : there was this Open house going on and I missed out on the nice stuff where the new jonees were introduced; it started raining the minute I stepped out of office and had to take an auto; reach home,exercise my thumb over the remote while scanning the days' newspaper only to realise that it is seven thirty and I am late - my bus is at nine fifteen! I hurriedly stuff my clothes and get out. I am late and cant make it to Majestic by bus. So get into an auto. The auto ride is relatively uneventful though I cant stop cursing myself for not having kept track of time.
I reach KSRTC bus terminus, ask people directions to platform 24 only to realise I am standing right there. And my bus is late. My bus finally comes at ten and is empty : nobody boarded it at Mysore!! I get into the bus and park myself on the window seat of the last row (my actual seat is the one next to it). Next comes a girl who requests me to move so that she can sit by the window. As if I am gonna do that!
Anyways we start talking and I get to know the windows seat aint her's. Now this is my first bus journey where in I am not asleep as soon as I get into the bus. Usually I am asleep even before the bus moves out of the bus terminus. And this time I realise the bus comes to Forum! Now Forum is a fifteen minute walk away from my house and it talks the minimum fare on an auto! But yours truly never knew about the bus stopping at Forum even though she had made this trip five times over the last 7 weeks! The guy who has the window seat gets in here and he puts forward his claim over the window seat. I tell him I have travel sickness (!!) and have to have the window seat!! And give him the "You can have your window seat, at your own risk" look. Poor guy, he cant say anything now and moves away.
The next day morning it is the Koyembedu bus stand in Chennai. I get of the bus, dodge all the auto wallahs and walk to the city bus stand inside the terminus. I dont have to wait for long and I get into the bus. I even compete with an old woman for a aisle seat (I have luggage!). And she says "Ladies' Seat. Vera engayaavdu poyi ukkaaru".
Excuse Me!!!
For those who havent seen me, believe me there s no way I can be mistaken for a guy!! And those who have, can vouch for that! That woman was either blind or was sleep walking. The lady sitting next to me smiles. The old woman moves closer, has a look and decides she was wrong. And she says " Chokka potrindiyono...." ???
I get down at SIET college and manage to stop an auto. I tell him "Surya Sweets ponum". He asks T.Nagar? I say R.A.Puram. He demands 40 bucks. The actual fare would be within the mimimum twelve ruppees. No way I am gonna shell out so much. Fifteen bucks I tell him. He laughs. Then tells me "Sangeetha varaikum ponum". Then I tell him its near Adyar Gate hotel. He says "R.A.Puram sonneenga. Ippo Adyarndu solringa." The Park Sheraton is known to auto waalaas as Adyar Gate Hotel and they refuse to recognise it by any other name. And here is one guy asking me if I had to go to Adyar. My luck! Then I tell him its near the Raintree hotel. He asks for twenty five, I say twenty and the deal is struck.And he takes me home, all the while preaching me on how I ought to use right landmarks and names and not confuse autowaalaas!
I come home, there is a new watchman who wants to make sure I am no thief. Which thief would come with a bag full of stuff? I ring the doorbell and my mom half asleep half awake grudgingly opens the door and goes back to sleep.
I look at my sister who is sleeping. There is thi contentment on her face which I decide wont be there for long. And operation "Wake up Mads aka Kumbakarni" starts. I tickle her, prod her. And after numerous pleas to Mummy, Madhu decides she ought to do something and pinches me. It is just so painful but I dont mind : Mission successful, Madhu awake. Now I can focus on mommy dearest. All that I need to do is to start talking!
After a heavy breakfast we move to Pondy Bazaar and into RMKV where a customer thinks I am the sales girl. Today is just not my day, I decide. We do lots of shopping, hog at Archana's and walk till Roshan's to look at suitcases for my darling sister. We finally decide on one hard case and one soft case, find out hard case suitcases cant be locked; make few frantic calls to parents who have sent their wards to US recently and decide on a semi hard case and soft case and buy the ASA locks. By the time we step out of the shop, its raining. We stop an auto, try to bargain, move ahead and stop another auto and so on. And each time we find that the amount demanded by the auto wala rises as we get closer to our destination. Only our Chennai autowaalaas can have such a distorted sense of logic!
But what a trip it was! I went to Adyar Grand Snacks and was served Thengai saadam on Donnai and it was lovely. Bought loads of stuff for me, dear sis and amma appa from AGS. Then "eatable" ( as Subbu puts it) food. Lotsa family gossip. Heaven!