To a new beginning

Years back when I first started to blog, I told myself I did write about how I felt and thought about things in a very impersonal manner-Only to realise that doesnt work out that way. You cant really do thoughtful thoughts in an unpassioned manner.Over the three years I have been blogging, I havent really blogged as much as I did have wanted to. When I had all the time in the world and my own desktop in my own room in my previous incarnation as an MBA student, I dint want to reveal lots about myself to unknown strangers who did read my blog. Now, when I no longer have the need to be conscious of every single word that I write, I really dont have so much time so as to let my mind wander aimlessly, get zillions of humorous, thoughtful, witty ideas, latch onto some and then put it on paper. And even if I did have the time,which I dont; I cant. 'Cos there are so many many people around me and way too close - no privacy. Colleagues who keep looking at my screen and nodding their head in disbelief and disapproval - 'What was I doing in office hours?'So what if there wasnt much work to do. I was still expected to make myself useful.' But more than anything else, eight hours (if not more) of looking at a computer screen cannot really inspire you to write.
I cant really place a finger on what went wrong. This is not how things were meant to be - blogging was supposed to be cathectic. Instead my posts have been reduced to bablings that I scrawl away over the time I steal away from the tea breaks, lunch breaks, gossip breaks and so on. All that I can seem to blog now are crib stories of how much I hate my job and the people around me. Do I really hate my job? Actually No. My job could have been much worse, like my dear friend Apar's ( and Apar has just told me that she doesnt really hate her job either :) ).
Infact I actually like my job, when I really have work.Do I really hate my colleagues? Again an emphatic No. Well, they do get onto my nerves at time. But then who doesnt? I can only say, I am like Harriet the Spy. Please dont hate me if I have said a few unkind words about you. Its Just Me!
And so.. Here ends all of this. And I am gonna do my best to blog and blog good stuff.I am not sure if I can do that though. There have been lots of things that have changed about me. MBA has taught me to think in terms of points, to prune away the unnecessities and stick to the bare mimimum.Now I am gonna try to unlearn all of that. I am really gonna try to write stuff that I did be proud of writting and stuff that I did read. My usual stuff in my usual style. The stuff that used to make my English teachers want to treasure my examination papers.
Okay. I kinda went overboard. :)
Have I lost my edge? I hope not!