I want to be a writer. If not anything else this blog has made a couple of laughs possible!
Call it the P.G.Wodehouse' effect on me (I read lots of them these days. And while I am laughing to my hearts content, all by myself and P.G.Wodehouse; folks around me try to call up NIMH!)
I reason I am better off than P.G. in one very important aspect. After all he had to create this fictional Bertie, while I can write about myself!
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Dear Career Counsellor
Dear Career Counsellor,
I am an MBA with an electrical engineering degree, working in a software firm. My designation reads Associate consultant and I was hired to give "functional inputs".
My work revolves around excel sheets. I am very happy to inform you that within two and a half months of employment I have received extensive practice on the following keyboard shortcuts : Control+C, Control+V,Control+F. I also now know how to use the function VLOOKUP. Being the fast learner I am, I can assure you Madam that I ll learn more very soon.
I like the organisation I work for too. I can have all the ginger,cardomom, masala and lemon tea I want for free. I can have coffee too, if I want. But I dont like it. Sometimes I take milk. There is even a microwave in the pantry. So I am very happy with my organisation.
However my "natural" skills lie elsewhere. You see I can crib pretty well. I can crib all day long and all night long. I am good at cutting pasting too, but I am the best when it comes to cribbing. That I can say with confidence. I can crib even about not having anything to crib about. So much that my best friend jokes about me being a professional cribber. I know livelihood is no joke. But this gave me an inspiration.
There are so many many depressed people out there who think nothing can ever ever happen right with them and who are always so very down in the dumps. I got this brain wave of offering my cribbing services to them. I am sure I can make them feel that there is atleast one person who is worse off than them. This "I am better off than her" positive thought will motivate them to do better. This way I can earn my livelihood and also give something back to the society.
Please advice me on this.
Yours Truly,
Alltime Cribber
I am an MBA with an electrical engineering degree, working in a software firm. My designation reads Associate consultant and I was hired to give "functional inputs".
My work revolves around excel sheets. I am very happy to inform you that within two and a half months of employment I have received extensive practice on the following keyboard shortcuts : Control+C, Control+V,Control+F. I also now know how to use the function VLOOKUP. Being the fast learner I am, I can assure you Madam that I ll learn more very soon.
I like the organisation I work for too. I can have all the ginger,cardomom, masala and lemon tea I want for free. I can have coffee too, if I want. But I dont like it. Sometimes I take milk. There is even a microwave in the pantry. So I am very happy with my organisation.
However my "natural" skills lie elsewhere. You see I can crib pretty well. I can crib all day long and all night long. I am good at cutting pasting too, but I am the best when it comes to cribbing. That I can say with confidence. I can crib even about not having anything to crib about. So much that my best friend jokes about me being a professional cribber. I know livelihood is no joke. But this gave me an inspiration.
There are so many many depressed people out there who think nothing can ever ever happen right with them and who are always so very down in the dumps. I got this brain wave of offering my cribbing services to them. I am sure I can make them feel that there is atleast one person who is worse off than them. This "I am better off than her" positive thought will motivate them to do better. This way I can earn my livelihood and also give something back to the society.
Please advice me on this.
Yours Truly,
Alltime Cribber
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Monday Morning Blues!!
Monday Morning Blues. The title says it all!!
Its been some two hours since I reached office and I havent managed to get any work done!!
All that I have done is social loafing; jump from one work station to another, make small talk on wht people did in the weekend, wht they bought, where they went window shopping, whats fashionable and whts not! And I am getting good at stuff like this! And dont know how this realisation makes me feel about myself!Okay, atleast something about me is consistent, this vague all muddled up kinda feeling sometimes (read all times) that I have about myself.
I cant work!I cant look into excel sheets and pretend to myself I am loving it! I cant think of the not so handsome pay check I take back home every month and tell myself "Think you are studying Chemistry righyt now. You will soon be rewarded for your patience with library sessions ( weekends; where in I can borrow books from the library close home and read to my heart's content)!". I realise nothings mcuh really changed about me. Its back to the engineering days- When I used to run to the bus stop 'cos I was getting late. Chase my bus in an auto. Pray for rain or the chairman to have a mild heart attack so that we could have a holiday. Get into the bus and either chat with Vasu, sleep or read something. Get to college and keep waiting for tea and lunch breaks with lots of day dreaming and prayers in between. I am pretty much the same! So much for the MBA. But no use blaming my degree.
I guess there is a part of me (and a very big part at that) that just doesnt want to grow up! And I am happy its that way!
Its been some two hours since I reached office and I havent managed to get any work done!!
All that I have done is social loafing; jump from one work station to another, make small talk on wht people did in the weekend, wht they bought, where they went window shopping, whats fashionable and whts not! And I am getting good at stuff like this! And dont know how this realisation makes me feel about myself!Okay, atleast something about me is consistent, this vague all muddled up kinda feeling sometimes (read all times) that I have about myself.
I cant work!I cant look into excel sheets and pretend to myself I am loving it! I cant think of the not so handsome pay check I take back home every month and tell myself "Think you are studying Chemistry righyt now. You will soon be rewarded for your patience with library sessions ( weekends; where in I can borrow books from the library close home and read to my heart's content)!". I realise nothings mcuh really changed about me. Its back to the engineering days- When I used to run to the bus stop 'cos I was getting late. Chase my bus in an auto. Pray for rain or the chairman to have a mild heart attack so that we could have a holiday. Get into the bus and either chat with Vasu, sleep or read something. Get to college and keep waiting for tea and lunch breaks with lots of day dreaming and prayers in between. I am pretty much the same! So much for the MBA. But no use blaming my degree.
I guess there is a part of me (and a very big part at that) that just doesnt want to grow up! And I am happy its that way!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Be Safe, Dont Exist!
Don’t go out alone at night — That encourages men
Don’t go out alone at any time — Any situation encourages some men
Don’t stay at home — Intruders and relatives can both rape
Don’t go without clothes — That encourages men
Don’t go with clothes — Any clothes encourage some men
Avoid childhood — Some rapists are turned on by little girls
Avoid old age — Some rapists prefer aged women
Don’t have a father, grandfather, uncle or brother — These are the relatives that often rape young women
Don’t have neighbours — They often rape
Don’t marry — Rape is legal within marriage
To be quite sure — DON’T EXIST!
(Rules for girls, poster by K.P.Sasi)
Don’t go out alone at any time — Any situation encourages some men
Don’t stay at home — Intruders and relatives can both rape
Don’t go without clothes — That encourages men
Don’t go with clothes — Any clothes encourage some men
Avoid childhood — Some rapists are turned on by little girls
Avoid old age — Some rapists prefer aged women
Don’t have a father, grandfather, uncle or brother — These are the relatives that often rape young women
Don’t have neighbours — They often rape
Don’t marry — Rape is legal within marriage
To be quite sure — DON’T EXIST!
(Rules for girls, poster by K.P.Sasi)
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