I had been tagged by Swetha a real long time to write about nine weird things about me. The point is that most things about me are way too normal. And the other few things about me areway too weird to be written about, here. And there are few weird traits that me and Swetha seem to share.
I need to have the fan chaalo, however cold it is. And when it is kinda hot( for others), that is when I am feeling cold and dont want the fan!!
I need to keep humming... Dont know why, but I need to.. It kinda irritates others but I dont even realize that I am doing it. Che was pretty much irritated 'cos I was humming somethingie, sitting next to her....during the 12th standard Math board exams!!
I have an "intuition" when it comes to "goodies". Another weird trait I share with Swetha. I know where "things" might be.... When it comes to other things, I havent a clue!!
Then again I talk to myself, only when I am alone. And when I aint alone, the conversation still goes on silently.... And there are times when I forget to be silent......
I have a nic for everybody and its kept a big secret.. Few of them sound pretty juvennile and most are funny... And I never tell anybody about it...
I seldom get names right.... Even those of my close friends. Keep getting them all mixed up.
I keep thinking of somethingie or the other... Even when I am talking.. Cant seem to go blank...ever...ever..... And I cant exactly verbalise them either. Thoughtless thoughts??
I keep thinking of which movie/novel character the people I meet resemble.
And the last weird thingie..... I dont mind accepting that I am actually pretty weird... Now, does that qualify as weird??
Do any of these things qualify as weird for that matter??
I now tag Shuba D, to write about the nine weird things about her.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna!
Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna! I had been waiting for this movie for a long time and finally got to see it a couple of days back. The reviews I received from my friends were not encouraging though and most of them dint like it. And the reviews I read were no different either. I liked the movie though, atleast the story. Most of us have grown up, learning to classify things into good and bad, right and wrong that it was refreshing to see a movie in which the lead stars were cold, selfish and bitter. And yes I did say stars 'cos the movie was not about Dev, Rhea, Rishi and Maya but about the 'stars'. But thats altogether another issue.
Not all things and people in life can come under good and bad can they? And I ought to say this, I have always liked the villains and the not so nice people of movies and books. Perhaps thts one of the reasons I like 'Gone With the Wind'. Being your own true devilish self and not playing this artificial goody goody kinds. Melanie was this natural goody good but I still think Scarlet had more fun than Melanie!And Rhett Butler was perhaps one of the best characters ever ever thought off!!
Not all things and people in life can come under good and bad can they? And I ought to say this, I have always liked the villains and the not so nice people of movies and books. Perhaps thts one of the reasons I like 'Gone With the Wind'. Being your own true devilish self and not playing this artificial goody goody kinds. Melanie was this natural goody good but I still think Scarlet had more fun than Melanie!And Rhett Butler was perhaps one of the best characters ever ever thought off!!
Monday, July 10, 2006
Pencils and Erasers
As a child I had a very bad habit of scribbling at every given opportunity, in every paper and on all the walls. Not that I think of it as a bad habit. Ever noticed how most things that you want to do are labelled under "bad habits"? Else it is just a crazy thingie to do! Anyways scribbling is somethingie I still enjoy! Gayathri used to be so patient while I used scribble my way to glory, ofcourse in her notes!!
And all these dayz that I have been on my yum bee yae I had to restrain myself- 'cos I simply had to grow up! and also 'cos most folks here are also trying to "grow up" and dont take kindly to such stuff!! And so I had to stop doing somethingie that my fingers always wanted to do!! And when after a one whole year of self restrain I did "it" my neighbour had the "are you crazy" kinda look and erased the whole thingie!! Gosh do I miss Gayathri!!
And that was one I realised something! It is much easier to erase stuff while it takes much effort and time to actually "create" something! Oh yeah! Big deal!! But why do you need to erase things just because they dont fall in line with certain standards? Why change yourself so that you conform to certain "standards"? While going around with an eraser in hand, doing d politically rite things and erasing off d other stuff may seem only proper, are you really listening to yourself? Doesnt that count too? What do you want to be? The pencil that may be wrong at times but is still proud of all the mistakes that it has done, the eraser that goes about being critical about everybody else or one of those hybrid pencils with an eraser attached that of its own accord erases things it doesnt deem fit enough! What about the pen you might ask? I would still prefer the pencil to the pen 'cos the pen doesnt have a choice.The pencil decides to let something remain out of choice.
I am proud of being a pencil.I have made lots of mistakes but I am not ashamed of them. These experiences have made me what I am and in a sense reflect the person I am. Given a chance I would still make them!
And all these dayz that I have been on my yum bee yae I had to restrain myself- 'cos I simply had to grow up! and also 'cos most folks here are also trying to "grow up" and dont take kindly to such stuff!! And so I had to stop doing somethingie that my fingers always wanted to do!! And when after a one whole year of self restrain I did "it" my neighbour had the "are you crazy" kinda look and erased the whole thingie!! Gosh do I miss Gayathri!!
And that was one I realised something! It is much easier to erase stuff while it takes much effort and time to actually "create" something! Oh yeah! Big deal!! But why do you need to erase things just because they dont fall in line with certain standards? Why change yourself so that you conform to certain "standards"? While going around with an eraser in hand, doing d politically rite things and erasing off d other stuff may seem only proper, are you really listening to yourself? Doesnt that count too? What do you want to be? The pencil that may be wrong at times but is still proud of all the mistakes that it has done, the eraser that goes about being critical about everybody else or one of those hybrid pencils with an eraser attached that of its own accord erases things it doesnt deem fit enough! What about the pen you might ask? I would still prefer the pencil to the pen 'cos the pen doesnt have a choice.The pencil decides to let something remain out of choice.
I am proud of being a pencil.I have made lots of mistakes but I am not ashamed of them. These experiences have made me what I am and in a sense reflect the person I am. Given a chance I would still make them!
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Nivi, the poetess
I had dreams,
colourfull dreams in my eyes,
washed down by the tears,
that I couldnt stop.
I saw colourfull bangles,
in the market fair,
I tried them on.
But they broke,
they werent made for me.
I cry,
and it is just not the kajal that flows.
I cry on,
And I dont stop myself.
I cry for myself.
A hole's in my heart,
that grows bigger
with each passing hour.
I aint ashamed
"But this is not fair".
Just not fair.
Not fair at all.
You may have killed a part of me,
But the rest is still there.
I am what I am,
And you cant change
the Who I am now
Not that I will let you.
You may break my bones,
not my spirit.
My dreams may have been washed away,
but others will take their place soon.
For you can do anything;
but never make me stop dreaming.
Dreams are my own,
My only treasure.
What if I dont have anything else?
As long as I have dreams in my eyes,
Hope in my heart
And the courage to walk the way I have picked;
I am.
colourfull dreams in my eyes,
washed down by the tears,
that I couldnt stop.
I saw colourfull bangles,
in the market fair,
I tried them on.
But they broke,
they werent made for me.
I cry,
and it is just not the kajal that flows.
I cry on,
And I dont stop myself.
I cry for myself.
A hole's in my heart,
that grows bigger
with each passing hour.
I aint ashamed
"But this is not fair".
Just not fair.
Not fair at all.
You may have killed a part of me,
But the rest is still there.
I am what I am,
And you cant change
the Who I am now
Not that I will let you.
You may break my bones,
not my spirit.
My dreams may have been washed away,
but others will take their place soon.
For you can do anything;
but never make me stop dreaming.
Dreams are my own,
My only treasure.
What if I dont have anything else?
As long as I have dreams in my eyes,
Hope in my heart
And the courage to walk the way I have picked;
I am.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Ideological Killings
Whatever be Gopal Godse's reasons for killing Gandhi was he right in killing him?Is it right to kill somebody just because you dont believe in what he believes in?Even revenge killings are acceptable; yes there is something very primitive about them but then arent all of us, in one sense. But then does it make any difference to Gopal Godse as to what others think of him.He cleansed the nation and that is the belief he will go to his grave with; "And well you cant expect ordinary mortals who fall in for big words to see the "truth", can you?What if they shun you?Condemn you?That reinforces your original belief right?"
And so Gopal Godse shall go to his grave with no remorse and perhaps even with pride that he did the right thing, with no fear of being condemned and shunned.And thats just the matter with ideological killings.You cant make that person feel remorseful-infact the person begins to see himself as a martyr, what if people shun him?It makes him more of a martyr.
And so Gopal Godse shall go to his grave with no remorse and perhaps even with pride that he did the right thing, with no fear of being condemned and shunned.And thats just the matter with ideological killings.You cant make that person feel remorseful-infact the person begins to see himself as a martyr, what if people shun him?It makes him more of a martyr.
Gopal Godse's Interview
Fifty-two years ago, on Jan. 30, 1948, Mohandas Gandhi was shot dead by Nathuram Godse, a Hindu extremist. Godse believed that the Mahatma, or great soul, was responsible for the 1947 partition of India and the creation of Pakistan. Godse and his friend Narayan Apte were hanged. His brother Gopal and two others were sentenced to life imprisonment for their part in the conspiracy. Gopal Godse remained in jail for 18 years and now, at 80, lives with his wife in a small apartment in Pune. He is still proud of his role in the murder. Although Godse is largely ignored in India and rarely talks to journalists, he agreed to speak with TIME Delhi correspondent Meenakshi Ganguly.
TIME: What happened in January 1948?
Godse: On Jan. 20, Madanlal Pahwa exploded a bomb at Gandhi's prayer meeting in Delhi. It was 50 m away from Gandhi. [The other conspirators] all ran away from the place. Madanlal was caught there. Then there was a tension in our minds that we had to finish the task before the police caught us. Then Nathuram [Gopal's brother] took it on himself to do the thing. We only wanted destiny to help us -- meaning we should not be caught on the spot before he acted.
TIME: Why did you want to kill Gandhi?
Godse: Gandhi was a hypocrite. Even after the massacre of the Hindus by the Muslims, he was happy. The more the massacres of the Hindus, the taller his flag of secularism.
TIME: Did you ever see Gandhi?
Godse: Yes.
TIME: Did you attend his meetings?
Godse: Yes.
TIME: Can you explain how he created his mass following? Godse: The credit goes to him for maneuvering the media. He captured the press. That was essential. How Gandhi walked, when he smiled, how he waved -- all these minor details that the people did not require were imposed upon them to create an atmosphere around Gandhi. And the more ignorant the masses, the more popular was Gandhi. So they always tried to keep the masses ignorant.
TIME: But surely it takes more than good publicity to create a Gandhi? Godse: There is another thing. Generally in the Indian masses, people are attracted toward saintism. Gandhi was shrewd to use his saintdom for politics. After his death the government used him. The government knew that he was an enemy of Hindus, but they wanted to show that he was a staunch Hindu. So the first act they did was to put "Hey Ram" into Gandhi's dead mouth.
TIME: You mean that he did not say "Hey Ram" as he died?
Godse: No, he did not say it. You see, it was an automatic pistol. It had a magazine for nine bullets but there were actually seven at that time. And once you pull the trigger, within a second, all the seven bullets had passed. When these bullets pass through crucial points like the heart, consciousness is finished. You have no strength. When Nathuram saw Gandhi was coming, he took out the pistol and folded his hands with the pistol inside it. There was one girl very close to Gandhi. He feared that he would hurt the girl. So he went forward and with his left hand pushed her aside and shot. It happened within one second. You see, there was a film and some Kingsley fellow had acted as Gandhi. Someone asked me whether Gandhi said, "Hey Ram." I said Kingsley did say it. But Gandhi did not. Because that was not a drama.
TIME: Many people think Gandhi deserved to be nominated TIME's Person of the Century. [He was one of two runners-up, after Albert Einstein.]
Godse: I name him the most cruel person for Hindus in India. The most cruel person! That is how I term him. TIME: Is that why Gandhi had to die? Godse: Yes. For months he was advising Hindus that they must never be angry with the Muslims. What sort of ahimsa (non-violence) is this? His principle of peace was bogus. In any free country, a person like him would be shot dead officially because he was encouraging the Muslims to kill Hindus.
TIME: But his philosophy was of turning the other cheek. He felt one person had to stop the cycle of violence...
Godse: The world does not work that way.
TIME: Is there anything that you admire about Gandhi?
Godse: Firstly, the mass awakening that Gandhi did. In our school days Gandhi was our idol. Secondly, he removed the fear of prison. He said it is different to go into prison for a theft and different to go in for satyagraha (civil disobedience). As youngsters, we had our enthusiasm, but we needed some channel. We took Gandhi to be our channel. We don't repent for that.
TIME: Did you not admire his principles of non-violence? Godse: Non-violence is not a principle at all. He did not follow it. In politics you cannot follow non-violence. You cannot follow honesty. Every moment, you have to give a lie. Every moment you have to take a bullet in hand and kill someone. Why was he proved to be a hypocrite? Because he was in politics with his so-called principles. Is his non-violence followed anywhere? Not in the least. Nowhere.
TIME: What was the most difficult thing about killing Gandhi?
Godse: The greatest hurdle before us was not that of giving up our lives or going to the gallows. It was that we would be condemned both by the government and by the public. Because the public had been kept in the dark about what harm Gandhi had done to the nation. How he had fooled them!
TIME: Did the people condemn you?
Godse: Yes. People in general did. Because they had been kept ignorant
TIME: What happened in January 1948?
Godse: On Jan. 20, Madanlal Pahwa exploded a bomb at Gandhi's prayer meeting in Delhi. It was 50 m away from Gandhi. [The other conspirators] all ran away from the place. Madanlal was caught there. Then there was a tension in our minds that we had to finish the task before the police caught us. Then Nathuram [Gopal's brother] took it on himself to do the thing. We only wanted destiny to help us -- meaning we should not be caught on the spot before he acted.
TIME: Why did you want to kill Gandhi?
Godse: Gandhi was a hypocrite. Even after the massacre of the Hindus by the Muslims, he was happy. The more the massacres of the Hindus, the taller his flag of secularism.
TIME: Did you ever see Gandhi?
Godse: Yes.
TIME: Did you attend his meetings?
Godse: Yes.
TIME: Can you explain how he created his mass following? Godse: The credit goes to him for maneuvering the media. He captured the press. That was essential. How Gandhi walked, when he smiled, how he waved -- all these minor details that the people did not require were imposed upon them to create an atmosphere around Gandhi. And the more ignorant the masses, the more popular was Gandhi. So they always tried to keep the masses ignorant.
TIME: But surely it takes more than good publicity to create a Gandhi? Godse: There is another thing. Generally in the Indian masses, people are attracted toward saintism. Gandhi was shrewd to use his saintdom for politics. After his death the government used him. The government knew that he was an enemy of Hindus, but they wanted to show that he was a staunch Hindu. So the first act they did was to put "Hey Ram" into Gandhi's dead mouth.
TIME: You mean that he did not say "Hey Ram" as he died?
Godse: No, he did not say it. You see, it was an automatic pistol. It had a magazine for nine bullets but there were actually seven at that time. And once you pull the trigger, within a second, all the seven bullets had passed. When these bullets pass through crucial points like the heart, consciousness is finished. You have no strength. When Nathuram saw Gandhi was coming, he took out the pistol and folded his hands with the pistol inside it. There was one girl very close to Gandhi. He feared that he would hurt the girl. So he went forward and with his left hand pushed her aside and shot. It happened within one second. You see, there was a film and some Kingsley fellow had acted as Gandhi. Someone asked me whether Gandhi said, "Hey Ram." I said Kingsley did say it. But Gandhi did not. Because that was not a drama.
TIME: Many people think Gandhi deserved to be nominated TIME's Person of the Century. [He was one of two runners-up, after Albert Einstein.]
Godse: I name him the most cruel person for Hindus in India. The most cruel person! That is how I term him. TIME: Is that why Gandhi had to die? Godse: Yes. For months he was advising Hindus that they must never be angry with the Muslims. What sort of ahimsa (non-violence) is this? His principle of peace was bogus. In any free country, a person like him would be shot dead officially because he was encouraging the Muslims to kill Hindus.
TIME: But his philosophy was of turning the other cheek. He felt one person had to stop the cycle of violence...
Godse: The world does not work that way.
TIME: Is there anything that you admire about Gandhi?
Godse: Firstly, the mass awakening that Gandhi did. In our school days Gandhi was our idol. Secondly, he removed the fear of prison. He said it is different to go into prison for a theft and different to go in for satyagraha (civil disobedience). As youngsters, we had our enthusiasm, but we needed some channel. We took Gandhi to be our channel. We don't repent for that.
TIME: Did you not admire his principles of non-violence? Godse: Non-violence is not a principle at all. He did not follow it. In politics you cannot follow non-violence. You cannot follow honesty. Every moment, you have to give a lie. Every moment you have to take a bullet in hand and kill someone. Why was he proved to be a hypocrite? Because he was in politics with his so-called principles. Is his non-violence followed anywhere? Not in the least. Nowhere.
TIME: What was the most difficult thing about killing Gandhi?
Godse: The greatest hurdle before us was not that of giving up our lives or going to the gallows. It was that we would be condemned both by the government and by the public. Because the public had been kept in the dark about what harm Gandhi had done to the nation. How he had fooled them!
TIME: Did the people condemn you?
Godse: Yes. People in general did. Because they had been kept ignorant
Monday, January 16, 2006
If you are reading this.........
Its been a long time since I blogged last and it wasnt because I dint find time.Somehow the very idea escaped my mind.And so, after such a long hiatus I am back!New Year came and went as usual nothing out of the blue happening.No resolutions.Have been doing quite a bit reading these days and it feels nice.And there was this Arthur Hailey character who feels just like me - there s this guy in Strong Medicine who finds his earlier works so amateurish and naive that given a chance he wants to tear them up!!And thats the way I feel now, like every other time.And thats the way I would be feeling about this particular post too.In fact that feeling's already started......So what if you are reading this?I dint!!!
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