I never have problems sleeping. I fall asleep the moment I hit the pillow. Mom and sis are forever envious - something like neighbours' envy, owner's pride.Today is not one of those days!
Inspired by my flatmate's 'early to bed early to rise makes a man healthy , wealthy and wise' philosophy I had decided no late night calls, gtalk chats, books. And it didn't work for me. I was tossing on the bed disturbed by the people shouting on the street, music from some night party, police cars whizzing by and my flatmate blissfully sleeping away to glory thoughout all of this! Even more disturbing were the random clicks from the past that I kept seeing - inspired by the 'Christmas Carols' that I read yesterday?
When I couldn't take the torture any more, I decided to go back to my usual ways - armed with steamed veggies and pitted dates to satiate a rumbling tummy, I turned to the laptop and internet to wear me out to exhaustion and sleep.
I once said to B that 'Life is like a decision tree with a lot many possibilities and only one certainity after which all the probabilities stop mattering' after a very stressful Business Stats class. Charles gave me a 'D' in the subject. Once we have chosen a path, we can't usually undo it and go back. And sometimes we may not want to. But why is it that inspite of what we choose and why, we have agonizing moments (hours and days) thinking about what could have been and what may be. Is having a choice really a good thing?
Another thing to ponder - this whole 'Am I really right' rigmarole only seems to get worse as we get older.
Why can't it be alright to be wrong once in a while. And not have to pay for it! And now that we are at it, why does life have to be a one way street? Why can't we flit between the parallel universes?
someone had told me once- deciding on a choice and failing is far better than ignoring the choices and being safe.
ReplyDeleteHello Harish,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my blog :)
Yea, it is definitely true. But you can never stop thinking about whether you did the right thing, can you? And the thing is, you will never know so!
Errrr.. maybe I sound naive, but the whole point of 'Was I right' comes only if you keep dwelling on the past, right? If decisions we took in the past lead us to the present, shouldn't we be doing something actual in the present that will shape our future...? I feel that's a far more fruitful pursuit than asking questions which you neither will know the answer to, nor will be useful even if you do. I mean, what's the point? For good or bad, what's done is done!
ReplyDeleteApar,
ReplyDeleteBetter said than done!
Not that difficult to do either!!
ReplyDelete